To be real

Photo: Acme Oyster House Waitress by Candlemaker

A good friend told me this story. He heard it on NPR, and now I can't remember on which show and neither can he. Here is my retelling. (If anyone knows who originally told this, send the URL and I'll gladly link to it):

A family sits down in a restaurant and starts to look at their menus. After a few minutes, the waitress comes over and first takes the parents' orders. She then turns to the little boy.

"And what would you like?" she says.

"A hot dog," he says.

The father looks at the son and then says to the waitress, "He'll have the roast chicken."

The waitress then turns back to the little boy. "And what would you like with your hot dog?"

"French fries," he says, quietly, looking sheepishly at his father.

The father states, "No, he'll have the rice and broccoli."

The waitress, writing nothing down, then turns back to the boy. "And what would you like to drink?"

"Chocolate milk," the boy says.

"He'll have the plain milk," says the father, looking directly at the waitress.

"Alright. That'll be a hot dog, french fries, and chocolate milk for the little mister," the waitress repeats back. She turns and walks towards the kitchen.

The boys turns to his mother and whispers, "She knows I'm real."

When you write, think of whom you're writing for; picture your audience, and stay on course for them. Listen to people who give you feedback on your writing; they are giving you something of value, even if you may not agree with it, so be sure to take in what they are saying. Think of the people in your daily life, those who often become invisible.

These people are real. See them.

Comments

[Ryan Karpeles]

Awesome story Kristin. Thanks for sharing. I think this concept can apply to just about any aspect of life. We often have our own story crafted in our heads and put on the blinders whenever we hear feedback, complaints, suggestions, or anything contrary to what we had originally come up with.

The key is to realize that we're not always right. We can't do everything on our own. Other people have great ideas, and if we never let them in, we'll probably never improve.

Thanks again, and it was great to meet you last weekend, even if only for about 13 seconds ;-)

[KG]

Hi Ryan -- You are most welcome! You sure got a lot out of the story, and I agree, this can absolutely be applied to life in general. I first heard this story about a year ago, which is probably why I can't remember anything about its source, and it has really stayed with me.

It was great to meet you, too! While we only had 13 seconds, it was a QUALITY 13 seconds, wasn't it? ;-)

[Sean Howard]

Soft but steady applause!!!

What a wonderful story and an amazing way to share something both important and larger than life!

[KG]

Hi Sean -- Thank you!!! :-)

I take a bow -- on behalf of the person who first told this story on NPR that my friend heard and then told me. I'm sure the author will find me if I don't find them first -- this is the Web, after all. I would love to know who came up with this. He or she is the master storyteller -- I am just the reteller.

When I find out, I'll try to interview this storyteller and then feature it on my blog.

[Paris Parfait]

I've heard this story before and it's so true - paying attention to the details all around - including people we might normally miss - is important.

[Gavin Heaton]

I think that this is why we write half holding our breath. On the one hand, the writer hopes for discovery and on the other wishes to remain hidden. Nice story, my dear!

[rel]

Kristin,
So much truth here and for more than writers.
When I go to talk to my patients, whether 2 or 20 years of age, I talk to and listen to only them. I don't ignore the parents and give them their time too.
Here is on of my comments to a 14 yo the other night before her appendectomy; Is it ok with you if your mother signs this anesthesia consent form allowing me to give you anesthesia medicine?
rel

[Crafty Green Poet]

lovely story and great advice, that everyone should take on board

[KG]

Paris Parfait — I'm curious about where you heard this story. I feel like it has become a folk story: lots of retelling, little or no original attribution.

[KG]

Gavin — That is an excellent point. You've really got me thinking... Perhaps I'll be writing another post related to this. Thank you! :)

[KG]

rel — Your real-life stories always blow my mind. I can imagine how empowered this 14 year old felt when you asked her this question; you proved to her that she matters. Your patients are so lucky to have you!

[KG]

Crafty Green Poet — Thank you! :)

[Mike Wagner]

Stories seems to open up so many points of view.

I read this story and felt the father as my internal editor that tells me what I ought to write...eat.

Pretty soon I've got a page full/plate full of what is good for me to have said.

But it doesn't make me real. And I suppose readers can tell.

Keep creating...a story worth telling,
Mike

[KG]

Mike — Your interpretation opened up a whole new angle on the story for me. Thank you for your comment and encouragement!

I agree with your point — I think readers can tell when writers aren't being real. And I think we writers often know when we're not being authentic. It's hard to stay in touch with our real voices — there are a lot of distractions out there and many different audiences we try to appeal to.

Your comment is making me consider a related post. More soon.

[Mike Wagner]

KG, looking forward to the related post!

It is always satisfying when an exchange like this leads to a new place or fresh perspective,

Keep creating...a "real" voice,
Mike

[Steve Woodruff]

Good stuff, KG. I see an immediate application with my kids. And it has nothing to do with hot dogs! Thanks.

[KG]

Mike — "...a new place or fresh perspective..." I agree! This is why we blog. :)

Steve — You're welcome! Based on your BS08 stories, I'm in awe of your parenting skills, BTW. I'm sure you have so many wisdom and learning stories to share — interested in starting another blog? ;)